Is it worth it? The bile that rises every time you think of a certain person and what they’ve done? The anger, pain, and betrayal, the injustice of it all - is it worth the space it takes up in your thoughts and the way it bleeds into everyday life? Maybe it haunts your dreams or catches you unaware in moments that should be joyful.
It likely causes illness in your body, and keeps the best parts of you closed up tight with an unbreakable lock and towering walls. Maybe it causes you to look over your shoulder everywhere you go, or worst of all, causes you to think awful things about yourself that just aren’t true.
No, you didn’t deserve this, and your feelings are both natural and justified. It’s not easy to move beyond such feelings and leave them in the past, and it’s entirely possible that you must continue to deal with the people or situations that created them in some way.
Maybe you don’t know how to leave, maybe you have to see them at work, or have legal processes that keep you in this energy. It may even be an old wound that never really healed. What happened is different for every one of us, but most of us deal with this feeling in one way or another throughout the course of our lives.
Some might call it “holding a grudge,” but I think those are often the words of people who don’t take accountability for their actions. It is said that holding onto our anger poisons us, but that phrase rarely comes with context. Yes, holding onto these feelings is poisonous for sure, but it takes time and intention to heal from such wounds, and these hard feelings are meant to push us to create change - both within and without.
Is it worth feeling this way? I think that’s the wrong question. You feel what you feel regardless of whether it’s worth it or not; it just is. The real question here is what to do with it, because letting it fester only makes it grow.
Use it as fuel to create. Create art. Create change in your life or your little corner of the world. Help those who have been, or are going through the same as you did. Use it to plan your escape or create good boundaries - to start the process of learning to care for yourself the way you care for those you love, and learn how to love others in a healthy way.
You can’t change what happened. Sometimes there is no justice, and the apologies we think we need the most are usually the apologies we will never hear. There is much that you have no control over, but you can control what you do with it. You have the ability to create a life that is completely different from the one you’re living now.
You can use this experience to build yourself up, or make yourself small. You can fade, or you can bloom, walk in fear or hold your head high. Let this experience cause you to cultivate your audacity and fortify your relationships - especially that relationship with self, which is the foundation of every relationship you will ever have.
I made this 😍😍😍
Rebirth Bag Charm | Crow, Owl & Tarot, Gold-Tone | "Feathered Friends"
I created this bag charm to assist you in letting go and building something new in the space that is left with wisdom and curiosity.
In case you missed some magic ✨
Today’s musical vibes 🎶
Warning: My playlist is as eclectic as I am—expect explicit tracks and “low vibe” beats. Listen at your own discretion 🎧
Tools used for this message 🔮
Deck (Big Deck Energy!):
Elle Qui Oracle by Melanie Delon & Arwen Lynch-Poe
You might also like The Witching Hour Oracle :)
Magic Rocks:
Ruby in Zoisite
Prehnite
Rose Quartz
Hematite
Gray Banded Agate
