50…No, 34…Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years
It’s my 50th birthday!
Helloooooooooo Beautiful Souls!!!
I turned 50 today so I thought it was a great idea to share 50 things I’ve learned over the years. I started to get a headache at 34 items so that will have to do lol! I hope that you will find this list to be helpful 💙
Sometimes you have to make demands of your doctor.
They may know a lot more than you about the human body but you know your body more than anybody else ever will. Sometimes you will have to put your foot down and demand more. Other times it’s a good idea to look for another doctor who recognizes your knowledge of and authority over your own body.The best diet is a healthy one that you will be able to maintain as a lifestyle.
Fad diets are not and will never be sustainable. Try to stay as close to whole foods as possible and listen to what your body is telling you. We all have different nutritional needs despite what we’ve been taught.Self-love is not what you think it is.
It’s not about feeling that drug-like high when you think of yourself. You will never feel like you are without flaws and there will always be others you think are somehow better than you. It’s about treating yourself the way you treat someone you love. You don’t decide you hate them because they have flaws — you love them regardless of their flaws and want to make them happy. Whenever you catch yourself in the midst of thinking how much you suck, ask yourself if you would talk to and treat your partner or child that way.Boundaries are everything!
People will treat you however you allow them to treat you. If you don’t stand up for yourself, they will only get worse.“No” is enough.
Sometimes an explanation is good for close relationships but “No” is more than sufficient in many situations. Saying “no” also gets easier with practice.Life is better when you create for the sake of creating.
Our society may not value our creative side but as humans, we have a very real need for this. Don’t be afraid to try new things and understand that nobody starts out knowing how to do any of that stuff. It takes practice to become good at anything and the feeling you get from seeing your progress is incredible!You can’t change people.
Yes, people do change but you can’t hang your well-being on the hope that someone will learn to treat you better. Accept the people in your life for what they are so you can best determine if that relationship is healthy for you. If they do make good changes later on, you can then reconsider if they belong in your life.Depending on self-control and willpower is a losing battle.
There’s so much more that goes into doing the things we want to or don’t want to do! Make it as easy on yourself as possible. If you want to start a new habit, eliminate any steps or distance possible. If you want to quit something, make it a pain in the ass to get.Helping others doesn’t always look like help.
Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is to let them tread their own path, hard as it might be. Life teaches us lessons in a way that no person or book ever can.Don’t waste your time or energy waiting for an apology.
Those people who did those awful things…they don’t care. There will be some apologies that will never come but you don’t need them! Accepting this fact will make things a lot easier for you!Don’t hold back those tears!
Sometimes you need a good cry even when there doesn’t seem to be a reason for it. Crying is not only cleansing, it is the natural way to process your emotions. Holding back only keeps you in that uncomfortable space but letting it out helps you to move past it.You can live many lives in the space of one lifetime.
I have been a daughter, sister, mother, and auntie. I have done shitty things as well as wonderful things. I have been an office worker, an HVAC technician, a telemarketer, a personal caretaker, a freelancer, a tarot reader, and a content creator. I rarely spent less than a year in any job. You’re not only allowed to change your mind and direction, it’s almost required as you change and grow!What people think of you is none of your business.
People will only ever be able to see you through the lens of their own experience. There will always be people who don’t like you or what you do, don’t let them decide who you are. There will always be people who love and appreciate you for exactly who you are, make sure you don’t hide behind what you think they want to see!Eat the cake!
Ok I know I spoke about healthy eating above, and that should definitely be your default. Life is best lived in balance though and the more you deny yourself, the more you will want what you’re trying so hard to avoid.Don’t forget to hit the “save button” regularly.
Many things have an autosave feature these days but not all. Better safe than sorry!You will never be ready for some things.
Prepare as well as you can but understand that many things can only be learned only from experience. This is especially true when it comes to the big decisions in life like having children. You will grow together :)Not everything happens for a reason.
Although there may be good reasons for many things, some things just are. Your trauma may have taught you many things but that doesn’t mean it was supposed to happen.You will always be a work in progress.
We are always growing and changing and learn more about ourselves with every experience. Every “failed” relationship, every intolerable job, and every step in the wrong or right direction teaches us more about ourselves and the world around us. Don’t try to be anyone or anything other than a better you than you were the day before.Sometimes you just have to jump!
There will be plenty of times when you don’t know all the information you think you need, you just have to keep taking the next best step. The longer you wait to take that step, the harder it will be to take that step.It’s in our nature to judge others.
We have to make judgments regarding the people who are a part of or may become a part of our lives in some way but that’s about as far as that goes. You may not want that person in your life but don’t judge them too harshly, you don’t know what they’re going through. Wish the best for them and be on your way!Learn to identify and accept what you can and can’t control.
Sometimes the only thing we can control in a situation is our own actions and reactions. You have zero control over how others behave but you can control how much of your energy you waste on them.Do the best you can with what you have.
This relates very closely to the last point. Though it’s natural and healthy to complain or vent, don’t stay in that energy. Find as many things as you can to be grateful for and learn to truly enjoy the little things because that’s what’s going to get you through the tough times. That’s where determination, resourcefulness, and even hope are created!Addiction is a treatable health issue.
It’s easy to look down on someone when they’re at such a low point in their lives but addiction stems from things like trauma, mental illness, and a lack of connection. If someone you love is battling with addiction, do what you can to show your support without enabling their behavior. Don’t forget that relapse is part of the process, it may take many falls off the wagon before a person finally learns to stay up there.Stress and drama are addictive!
The chemicals our body releases during times of stress and drama are addictive. The more you get, the more your body and brain want it, even if you know better on the surface. You can actually go through a form of withdrawal when you start trying to correct your behavior.Organize your physical space in zones.
Both physical and mental health issues have always had me struggling with cleaning and clutter. Learning to arrange things according to how often I use them has been a great help to me! Adding a basket to places that collect your junk the most is extremely helpful as well.Parents are human.
You will make tons of mistakes as a parent. Don’t be afraid to show your kids that you’re human, they need to know what human looks like. Being honest about your feelings or mistakes will show them how to deal with these things in a healthy way as they grow older.Parent’s are human #2
Because your parents are human, you should know that sometimes they’re just not your human. We all want to have the ideal relationship with our creators but that’s not always possible. It’s ok to decide it isn’t healthy for you to have one or both in your life. Blood is not what truly makes a family.Prioritize your peace and well-being.
You might think your kids or career are the most important priorities but the healthier and happier you are, the better you can do for those who depend on you.Start small.
Want to change your life? Take it one step at a time. Trying to make too many changes at once all but guarantees failure. Make a small change and let yourself acclimate to it a bit before you take on the next one.Start small #2
One person may not be able to change the world but we can all make small changes in our lives and communities that will ripple out farther than you could imagine! Start with a smile :)The best healing and feeling come from helping others.
While this is all-around good advice, it is especially helpful for those who are healing from traumatic events and circumstances. Using your experience to help others in similar situations will heal your own wounds in a way that nothing else can!There will never be one person who meets all your needs.
Your romantic partner is only one person and it’s not fair to expect them to be everything you need. You need friends, family, and community! Every person in your life has different things that they are good at, they each speak to a different part of you.Your relationship with yourself determines how good the rest of your relationships are.
When you are kind to yourself, you learn to draw boundaries regarding how you allow others to treat you. You also learn more about what you truly want and need from others in your life.Being alone doesn’t have to feel lonely.
Once you start learning about and caring for yourself, you learn to truly enjoy your alone time. While loneliness might be a thing from time to time, it’s never as deep as the loneliness you feel when you think that someone else is capable of filling the void that only your relationship with self can fill.
Wrapping up
Wow, that was a lot! If you made it to the end of this article, you’re my friggin hero! Thank you for sticking around, I appreciate you!
All my love,
Trish
P.S. Since I haven’t shared a current picture of myself in a long time, here’s a photo I took today :)
Wow, there’s a lot of wisdom here!
They’re all good, but 17 was one of my favourites. Not everything happens for a reason. (After my wife died in 2013 in her forties, I couldn’t imagine a good reason for that.)